Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on “THIS” side of the road before it goes after the problem on the “OTHER SIDE” of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his “CURRENT” problems before adding “NEW” problems.

OPRAH : Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I’m going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH : We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road…

NANCY GRACE : That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

MARTHA STEWART : No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FALWELL : Because the chicken was gay! Can’t you people see the plain truth? That’s why they call it the “other side.” Yes, my friends that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media white washes with seemingly harmless phrases like “the other side.” That chicken should not be crossing the road. It’s as plain and as simple as that.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn’t ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken! What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY : Where’s my gun?

Same Shit – Different Day

The following quote sounds like it came from current history.

Read on and see who the author is.

Naturally, the common people don’t want war, but after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy, and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship, or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship. Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. This is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same in every country.

– Hermann Goering, Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe, President of the Reichstag, speaking at the Nuremberg Trials after World War II

Proud of Arnold

I’m so proud of Arnold Schwarzenegger, our Governator. I am a registered Democrat (at heart an independent, but I had to choose one of the two to have any voice at all in American politics, and I usually detest Republican policies anyway), but I love Arnold. He is a free-thinking, brain-using, common sense, ecologically concerned Republican and I only wish he could run for President (see my older post “Naturalized Presidents“).

Arnold let President Bush know in no uncertain terms that he disagrees with lifting a decades old ban on offshore oil drilling in California coastal waters. Arnold said:

“We are in this situation because of our dependence on traditional petroleum-based oil; the direction our nation needs to go in, and where California is already headed, is toward greater innovation in new technologies and new fuel choices for consumers. That is the way we will ultimately reduce fuel costs and also protect our environment.”

Thank you Arnold. I think you are one of our best governors ever. I’m so glad I voted for you.

photos from AtPictures.com

Red Tape

Yesterday I took the time to write emails to both California senators and my local representatives, as well as the Metropolitan Water District regarding my concerns about water fluoridation. This was what I wrote:

Is the flouridation of our drinking water a permanent situation? I protest the addition of fluoride to our water supply (beginning October 2007) here in South Orange County on the basis of health issues. A new report by Reuters explains some of the health risks associated with water flouridation.

http://www.reuters.com/article/pressRelease/idUS108377+02-Jan-2008+PRN20080102

I would like to know if these programs are scheduled to be terminated in the near future to make our drinking water safe again.

I plan to write to my elected officials on this matter as well. Thank you.

___________________________________________________________

Here is the only response I received so far, this from the Metropolitan Water District. Not a peep from the elected officials yet. I must say this was a very speedy and informative response, although it underscores the amount of bureaucracy involved in bringing about change:

I appreciate both your concern and interest in Metropolitan’s Drinking Water Fluoridation Program. Metropolitan’s decision to fluoridate it’s drinking water supplies was made by an official action of its Board of Directors; Metropolitan’s Board governs Staff activities (including fluoridation) and adopts all policy on its treatment and operations.
Any decision to stop or reverse Metropolitan’s Fluoridation Program must be initiated at this level. You therefore have two options to stop Metropolitan’s current fluoridation treatment option: 1.) convince its Board to reverse their 2004 decision or 2.) have the current law mandating drinking water fluoridation changed.

Sincerely,
Edgar G. Dymally
Water Quality Section
Metropolitan Water District
of Southern California

I love the way that’s worded – “convince the board” or “change the current law”. It’s as simple as that!!

Advice Not Taken

Spotlight on Our Aching Heads

Last year I wrote a post called “How Many Politicians Does It Take to Change a Lightbulb”, in which I complain about the pending possible legislation requiring Americans to buy only flourescent lights for their homes, with a phaseout of the incandescent bulbs. I am a migraine sufferer and have maintained for years that flourescent lighting helps cause migraine headaches.

Well, the good news is I was right. It was reported on the news this evening that a British research team has found my claim to be true (no big surprise to other migraine sufferers, I’m sure). Flourescent lighting does indeed aggravate these headaches. The news report also said that this light was found to cause some epileptics to have seizures. So we should be able to choose which lighting we use in our homes, right?

Wrong says the government. The bad news is that Congress just announced a phaseout of incandescent bulbs to be complete by the year 2012. That’s right. Incandescent bulbs will be ILLEGAL in the U.S. in the interests of saving energy.

Sure flourecents save energy. They also contain mercury and must be disposed of as toxic waste. What if you drop one and it breaks in your house…should you worry about mercury poisoning from the little drops of mercury that you missed after the cleanup…will the baby encounter the quicksilver as she crawls around on the floor? And anyone who has EVER had a migraine knows that they want to make their homes as healthy as possible to avoid getting one of these debilitating headaches.

If you want to use flourescent bulbs in your home you should. However I don’t. And I have no freedom of choice in the matter.

Who Will Eat the Leftovers?

The Knife Cuts Both Ways

Wordless Wednesday (almost)

O’Really?

According to The Week, a tally by three University of Indiana scholars revealed that Fox News host Bill O’Reilly’s daily commentaries contained an average of 8.88 instances of name-calling per minute, or one insult every 6.8 seconds.

What a great communicator, eh? Isn’t there a quote somewhere about weak intellects resorting to insults because they are unable to communicate ideas otherwise?

photo by Starpulse

Which one would you rather talk to?