Zen Sarcasm

I try to be very calm and peaceful in my life. It’s something I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older and wiser.

However, I try not to take anything TOO seriously, so there is always room for humor! Here’s some Zen sarcasm for those Zen Masters having a particularly difficult day.

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.
Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.
Do not walk beside me either.
Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with
a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It’s always darkest before dawn , so if you’re going to
steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.

4. Don’t be irreplaceable.
If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.

5. Always remember that you’re unique.
Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you ‘re alive,
try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a
mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them,
you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don’t succeed……skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him to fish,
and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.

12. Some days you’re the bug, some days you’re the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in
half and put it back in your pocket.

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side,
and it holds the universe together.

17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your
lips are moving.

18. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.

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3 Comments

Filed under Humor, Spirituality

3 responses to “Zen Sarcasm

  1. john

    yep … enjoyed and shared

  2. Katie

    Perfect for Monday Morning humour!

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