Sex and the City

WARNING: SPOILER ALERT!! This post contains information about the “Sex and the City” movie currently in theaters. If you haven’t seen the movie and want to, you may not want to read this post!!


photo from

The other day a group of us gals went to see the new “Sex and the City” movie. I was a big fan of the HBO show and was looking forward to seeing the girls again. I must say I enjoyed the show; the setting of the movie was 5 years after the last tv episode ended. Being on the other side of 40 myself, I really got a kick out of the girls being portrayed as just at the brink of aging – Carrie is at the age where she needs glasses to read (a rite of passage for the middle-aged) but since she won’t get them, she holds reading material at arm’s length for focus. This made me laugh because I had a hairdresser who did the same thing because she “wasn’t ready” for glasses (probably the reason why my haircuts started to look bad).

Anyway, now that I am older and wiser, I have made some realizations about life in general. In the movie, Carrie and her long-time beau Mr. Big (played by the darkly gorgeous Chris Noth) make a joint decision to get married (no ring, no kneeling, just a spontaneous”decision”). Mr. Big, having been married twice before, is dismayed to discover that the simple wedding he had hoped for has spiraled into a huge New York City event; this causes him to start having doubts about getting married and escalates into fear of a third failed marriage. Eventually, on the wedding day, after Carrie arrives at the NY Public LIbrary (where the wedding is to be glamorously held – a library wedding sounds good to me!), Big calls her from his limo in front of the library (after unsuccessfully trying to reach Carrie all day), and tells her he just can’t go through with it, then starts to drive away. He changes his mind seconds later and as Carrie’s limo passes his on the street, he gets out to tell her he still wants to marry her – she however has spiraled into one hell of an angry hissy fit and hits him repeatedly with her bridal bouquet, led away by her loyal and ever-present girlfriends. Carrie becomes miserable, depressed, and suffers horribly for months after the humiliation she suffered.

Upon watching this, I reflected a bit on this situation. Yes, I understand this was just a movie. Movies need conflict and drama to be entertaining. But I know there are people in real life who have these very same problems and handle them the same way that Carrie and Big did. And it seems to me that all the unnecessary suffering resulting from this very-human event could be avoided if two things were attended to: communication and ego control.

It’s normal for people to get cold feet; not fun for the other person, but it happens. It’s part of being human. If the bride had had any compassion and understanding for the person she purports to “love”, than she should have been glad of the opportunity to hear him say he’d had cold feet, but was over it now and wanted to resume the wedding. But her perception was that the world revolved around her, so she was unable to open her heart to him, thus suffered months of pain as a result. Of course, they are reunited at the end and have their City Hall wedding and the world is once again a beautiful place. But how much time was wasted in the name of ego?

All I’m saying here is communicate with those you love and set your ego aside. Listen to others and don’t fall for the “victim” mentality. Don’t be a doormat, but use discernment before condemning the choices of others. Ego can cause so much heartbreak. Let it go. Listen and forgive and watch how much better your life becomes.



Filed under Life, Musings, Spirituality

6 responses to “Sex and the City

  1. I only read the first paragraph since I haven’t seen it yet! I was going to go the opening night but way too crowded for me.

  2. Sex and the City seems to have a polarizing force… people either hate the movie or love it; so far it seems like the “lovers” outnumber the “haters”

  3. glorious

    I plan to see it when it comes out on DVD. Thanks for the spoiler though. No really. I wanted to know and now won’t suffer through the pain knowing there will be happiness at the end. LOL!!!

  4. Sage advice, Sonja. Wow, this font is large as I type it in. Is it because of our middle-aged eyes? I saw SATC and enjoyed it – ya gotta suspend some belief, so it worked fine for me.

    I loved your Vaseline joke the other day!

    I see you’re in Southern California. Me too…part of the time, anyway.

    And you sure read a LOT of books. I’ll keep visiting here for some recommendations!

    – Margaret

  5. Shirley

    I loved the movie and I loved what you wrote about it.

  6. sexsgood

    Do you know what style of diamond stud earrings Carrie wore in the movie? I must find out if they were in prongs or bezel. If they were round, on the ear or dangling.

    Thanks in advance for any leads!

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