Things My Father Told Me

My father is a very interesting guy. He came here from Germany when he was in his early 20’s with some English lessons under his belt and a technical education in tool and die making. Almost the moment he stepped off the boat, he was drafted by the US Army and served a term at Fort Huachuca in Arizona.

After his military service was complete, his work ethic allowed him to move up the ladder from entry level tool and die maker to plant supervisor and beyond at his field (tool and die making is the art of creating molds and other media to cast metal and plastic objects; these objects are used in an infinite number of products that would not exist without them).

My dad is a rather volatile guy, but he does possess an extremely witty sense of humor. Actually my love of racy jokes comes from my dad. He was always a hit at parties when he told jokes because he would use facial and body language to enhance the stories and punchlines.

Anyway, as I was growing up, my dad used to impart certain words of wisdom to me frequently in his German accent (which, by the way, he managed to almost lose as the years went by, although he denies this and still considers his speech very accented. Maybe I’m just used to it?). Here is a collection of some of his gems throughout the years:

Washing the car – “Wash from the bottom up, it prevents streaks that way”

On wealth – “There are two kinds of wealthy people. The kind that have money and the kind that drive expensive cars and eat beans for dinner every night.”

On driving – “Don’t ever drive with bare feet.” Teenage driver version – “If I see you driving in bare feet I’m taking the keys away.”

After my first sleepover at someone’s house when I cried and had to be picked up and brought home the same night – “Don’t worry about it. Life is not always a bowl of cherries.”

After we worked together on a car and it wouldn’t start

me: Dad let’s put the old condenser back in and see if it starts.

dad: Condensers never go bad. (walks in disgust to chat with neighbor due to troubleshooting frustration)

car: Vroooomm!! (after I replaced the new condenser with the old one.)

On my skill as a motorcycle passenger at age 8 – “Wow, you lean into the curves with me and you’re not afraid. You’re a natural. ”

On footwear – “Don’t just slip off your shoes, untie them first or you’ll ruin your shoes.” corollary to “Don’t stop your tricycle with your shoes, you’ll ruin them”.

Favorite phrases – “You’re full of beans” ; “(name) is in cahoots with (name)”

Advice before a date – “No Stinkfinger”(the German pronunciation is “shtink finger”) It’s up to you to guess what that means…

Dad as a kid in Germany (note the lederhosen) and now.

Here’s my dad demonstrating his sense of humor wearing a wig his wife made for a Halloween costume.

That’s my dad!

He is also featured in Wordless Wednesday #2!



Filed under Humor, Life

10 responses to “Things My Father Told Me

  1. I think I looked at this pic too closely 🙂

  2. glorious

    Nice tribute to your dad.

  3. seb

    Your dad is great! I especially like, “life is not always a bowl of cherries.’ Some of his sayings really remind me of my mom (who’s French and tends to come up with funny weird sayings in English!).

  4. Never eat anything bigger than your head!

  5. seb

    That’s a good one Shaymus! I’m gonna start using that…

  6. Great post Sonja!

    I tagged you for the infamous 6 weird things meme. Details on my site today!

  7. Nice post, your dad sounds like a great guy. I like the picture with the Halloween wig 🙂

  8. Sounds like a smart guy!

  9. Great post about your day – interesting reading.

  10. Dagmar

    I am married to this wonderful “dad” of Sonja.
    This Halloween “wig” he is wearing is not a wig, but a hat which I knitted with Fun Fur.

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