Absolutely Terrifying

New pets sometimes go through phases where they develop a habit which is annoying. Baby parrots go through these and sometimes the results are painful also. I bring this up because Gobi has lately been biting me a bit. It’s just a phase; I have little tiny dot-sized scabs on my fingers, but compared to what Gizmo can do, this is nothing. At the time of this writing, he’s almost out of this oral phase.

However, this got me thinking about life and raising children. You may remember my favorite boy Cory from an earlier post. Like all babies, he is going through a similar phase (in humans it’s called “the terrible twos”). No, he isn’t biting Candace, his mother, or Rick, his father! He does, however, have desires and wants that if not satisfied, can cause him to melt down. A phase of course, and Candace and Rick are on it.

The terrifying thought I had was this:

I realized that if for some reason my relationship with my pet does not work out, I have the option to remove that pet from my life and find him a better home. If the animal has a chronic behavior problem that my efforts can not correct, I always have options.

However, once you have taken on the responsibility of a child, obviously you can’t put it back, trade it, or give it away. It would scare the crap out of me to be responsible for the development and behavior of another human being, knowing that this person will be walking around on the planet for eighty years or so; my actions and reactions help create another’s life and shape his/her interactions with others. Of course, some of the outcome depends on the child itself, but…
Yet, most people do it and the majority turn out good humans!

I am not up to the task. My hat is off to all parents: biological, adoptive, foster, etc. I can only imagine the depth of feeling a parent has for his/her child. I’m not sure I am made of such strong stuff!



Filed under Birds, Gizmo, Gobi, Life

3 responses to “Absolutely Terrifying

  1. All very valid comments – the trobule is you do not think about it at the time of conception, or birth …. or ven until later in their childhoods.

    I think I came with a maternal switch that meant I just got on with it the best I could – day to day management – chaos management even. I was very lucky with my children, the only problems I had with them did not occur until their teens. I have one moderately dyslexic child and two minorly dyslexic children – once the diagnosis was in place we the had the tools with which to cope. With little ones, who cannot communicate except by crying ……… crying covers a multidueof sins, wants, needs and other emotions …. it is particularly difficult.

    I love mine dearly, deeply and unconditionaly – however I might not like them all the time !

    From what I have seen of your writting here – I think you would make an excellent parent.

  2. I think you’d do pretty well as a parent, too. It’s the caring and the love that matters.
    I’m glad Gobi is getting over the Bites. I take the Large bird pictures at the shelter, and the stress of being in a noisy, strange place can really piss off a parrot. Not to mention some strange guy sticking a big camera in his cage and taking a flash picture 😉

  3. candace

    I think having Cory as late in life as I did (42) I was a little more honest with myself, had done alot of work, found a mate who agreed with the same things I do about raising our child. Cory knows when I make a promise I will keep it, and I know not to ever promise something I am uncertain of fulfilling for him. I want him to see me as a human, not some demi-god as he grows up. He knows I make mistakes, he has learned to apologize by seeing me apologize. I always say thank you, please and your welcome when I ask something of or from him. I treat him as an equal but always reassure him that I will move heaven and earth to keep him safe and happy. You do not need to be a God or Perfect to be a Good Parent, you just have to love your child and want to have a balanced and healthy relationship with him-even if it means revealing your own flaws. My parents were elevated to God status and that made it hard to see and understand how they got to be the way they are. I was in my 30’s when I found a way to understand my parent’s entire life experience (parent and family and love relationships, jobs and work ethics, belief systems, etc) to better understand how they became who they are, and how to recognize those behaviors that I have picked up-good and bad. It is easy to be mad at someone, it is harder to have compassion for how they came to be or do something that you do not like or agree with. It was that understanding that opened an important door of communication with my father before he died. I saw the man, with all his flaws and fears and uncertainties, and all his unique and magical qualities balancing him out, and it only made him more awesome to me. I felt closer to him than ever before in my life and I treasure those moments. I want my son to have moments like that with me, glimpses of who I am at my heart, not the persona I put out there for others. Teach your child to be honest and loving, be an example, and hope for the best. You would be a remarkable parent Sonja. Somehow I think you would not give up so easily on your birds, as a pet sitter I have seen countless people with difficult animals go years without giving up-and it is always the ones that want to understand the animals, that ask the questions, that find success in resolving issues with their pets. You would be one of the success stories. Love is a strong motivator.

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