Debate Comedy

What is the most ridiculous argument that you and your significant other have again and again?

This one is so much fun because there is never a resolution to our “arguments” on certain topics.

The first one is “you can’t get a ticket on the freeway if you’re speeding when you’re traveling at the same speed as the majority of the traffic”. My husband Bill insists on this, and although I understand the principle of it, I just don’t agree with it.

My last speeding ticket was in 1988. I “worked it off” by taking the traffic school option. It was one of those classes where the “teacher”, an ex-CHP officer, offered “secret hints” how to stay out of ticket trouble (which were just thinly veiled suggestions to follow the law and you’ll be OK). One of his lectures was how when you are driving on the freeway, “swimming in a school of speeders” does not prevent you from being ticketed. His metaphor was “a fisherman won’t catch all the fish in the pond, but he will try to catch some.” Supposedly the chippers lurk at freeway overpasses and report your sins to their buddies up ahead, then they stop you. This has always stuck with me. It makes a lot of sense now too, especially in this age of government revenue deficits. A ticket is an easy way for the precinct to make some money for the government, so why not use it?

The irony of the situation is that Bill has been driving for 35 years and has never gotten a traffic ticket! He’s never even been pulled over (naturally I tease him that he has not had the FULL driving experience).

The second “argument” is this: It doesn’t rain very often in southern California (yes, just like the 70’s song). But when it does, my hubby will never turn on the windshield wipers until the windshield is completely covered with drops, and/or smeared by reconstituted grime. At this point I complain about the visibility and he counters with “I’m distracted by the wipers going back and forth.” Then I just have to laugh out loud every time, because if there is ever a spot on the windshield on a dry day (eg. bird poop, insect splatter, etc) he rushes to clean it off right away! Hilarious and always consistent!

It’s kind of fun because it is consistent. It’s a comfort, a shared history. Just like completing each other’s sentences and knowing what the other is thinking on a certain topic. These continuing “arguments” are just another form of intimacy.

Besides, there are a lot worse things a couple could argue about!!

Windshield Dust Art by Scott Wade



Filed under Humor, Life

3 responses to “Debate Comedy

  1. That’s hilarious! And it sounds a lot like all the ridiculous arguments that go on in my house and/or car.

  2. Well I got caught on the *swimming in the pool* fine and pints here for that!

    Shared *discussions* are all part of intimacy ……… you are quite right !

  3. Sometimes, a dry wit comes in handy in those situations. 😉
    The shark vs a school of fish is a great metaphor for speed traps. The cars even glitter in the night like shark’s eyes. I’m glad I haven’t seen the spinning lights in my mirror lately.

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